Man and it feels good. Here I go making my yearly rounds and gathering age along the way, this bag of wisdom is kind of heavy, Thank GOD I'll be 30 for a year, so I can sort thru the wisdom….. I've read the quote "better not bitter" and I'll be honest enough to say that's harder to achieve then most care to admit. I've learned so much in this short year that it's kind of scary. It's almost as if all of the information that was obtained up until 29 was a waste of time and energy. I've also taken a deeper look at my life, my emotions, how I feel when no ones looking. I found a bunch of dark blots, some of my thoughts were so jaded that I was starting to wonder if it was possible to actually think someone else's thoughts?
So I clean up my Closet. I can be a pack rat at time; you know clinging to the things that I treasure most. But there comes a time when your trash becomes bigger then life, and now your life is your trash. Another thing about these "treasures" that I've found was the fact that when they are old, they want to be thrown away. But we fill so guilty, for what ever reason and we hold on to it in good faith. Hell I don't know why you might hold on to some of your trash. But I hold on to mines because I'm too wrapped up in it. And if I discard it someone else will retrieve it. YES that's right, just like you made someone's trash your treasure, the basic everyday rules apply to all of us.
So I took my trash out this Morning, NO really I took out the trash in my house and the trash in my heart/ life. See Last night I gathered all of the trash together, and placed the bags at my door, as the night progressed, any other trash that I found I opened the door of my mind/ HEART/ and home, to throw them away. While wadding by the pool side, I allowed my wet burdens to be caught by the small current, and washed away.
This morning we, my Dogs and I, walked the bags down. And walked away, the funny thing is that neither one of us looked back. We were happy, it was morning time, and we could fill the heat of the day on the back or our necks. Cin could smell her treats, and Guy knew that his fun time was coming to an end… LOL… but WE never looked back. I think it was easy because I built up to it. I studied it, and approached it in a manner to soften the blows of the harsh reality that was haunting me.
People, places and things all have a place to be in. Sometime we admire something so much we take it out of its place and elevate it prematurely. Thus making more of it then it really is. So after I took out the trash, I came back in THIS MORNING, and put all the shit that was laying around in my closet back in its place. When I was finished, I noticed that my "special suit" was just another suit in my closet. I favor it most, but at any time I can put on another one of the MANY and they will all compliment me the same IF NOT BETTER. I found the same issue with my favorite, Heel, Tennie, Purse, and Belt. Shit I Had TONS of new Items that I never even paid attention to. Trying to hold on to my favorites; SO I put on something I would have never even thought to. The short/pants fit better then the ones I was washing to wear every Friday. Then from my 4 pair of white shoes… YES BITCH WHITE…LOL…. I picked the shoe that I would NEVER wear on a Friday….. And I mixed it in with a faithful whit tank, made with like a lace collar and straps. MAN, I tell you that everything is popping. And when I came in the office …every one was like "ok did we go shopping"…. I smiled meekly, and thought to myself. MAN I'm Glad I CLEANED out MY CLOSET. Maybe you don't need to throw anything away; perhaps you just need to straiten things out a bit. DO what you GOT TO DO, the summer is still here. IT'S already BEEN A blast, BUT now that my trash is out, and My closet is arranged, I can take on a couple of my summer invites ….. And I'm excited. I didn't like being alone, and so now I won't have to be.
30 $omething

W/E Madness

Its been a while since I've hit the scene. Why did I choose a houseparty To start, At 30 something a House Party is something thats a lil to Personal for a Single GAL. It was nice to hang out with these couples who " will ove each other for ever" all while there husbands couldnt keep there eyes off of tone in my thigh. I will say tht the next time I agree to something like that i will ask if "single STRAIGHT men" will be attending.
I mean really, This oleskool, gansta pimp wanna be was like all in my grill, tht coupled with the BOLD Lesbian that was sitting to my right. When oleskool approached me, I had to think quick. Les vs oleskool..... Oleskool won, but in the end i won. I "took" down his number, not really but thats wht he thinks.
So why was i there, when i am currently being entertained by some of the most BEAUTIFUL MEN that Houston has to offer. I mean from the Finances to there Looks there DUDES GOTITGOINON.....But I'm waiting, Currently 2 of the tones have my attention, one more so then the other one. I LOVE ONE, and I just met the other.... And of course the whole time i was at the houseparty I couldnt help but think about both of them. As the party began to digress I began to think deeper and Harder.... I started to realize that i no longer have time for running men away. If i want to actually get involved in a REAL GROWN UP relationship then perhaps i should start by actually allowing someone to occupy my time. I'm waiting for HIM, but whos's he waiting for?